Do you ever get sick and tired of doing the same shit over and over again? Me too. I am just getting so annoyed at myself at re-gaining the weight that I lost so much of. When I started this blog (which I’ve been super inconsistent with – how ironic), I had lost 4 stone already – I was so happy, but then in the space of three years, I’ve put on all of that and more. Needless to say, I’m pissed off with myself… again. However, if there is one thing that I have learnt from the last three years, it’s that slimming world doesn’t teach you about your emotional connection to food and it also doesn’t teach you about the good fats that you NEED and that you really shouldn’t label food as ‘syns’ to demonise them. Now, I’m not saying that slimming world doesn’t work – I know it does, it worked for me for goodness sake, BUT it doesn’t educate you about food enough for it to not be such a huge thing to constantly be mindful of. For example, I remember being on slimming world and thinking “shit, can’t have this because it’s not free” and I’d be saying these things for like avocado… is avocado bad? NO! In fact, on slimming world avocado is like 14 syns – what the fuck?! Anyway, this blog post isn’t to pin blame on slimming world for my fuck-ups, it’s about starting again… again. Please tell me I am not along here? Please tell me that I am not the only person who loses weight and then somehow puts it all back on, it’s like I lost the weight and then said to myself “yes, I’ve lost it now, of course I can eat that WHOLE PIZZA TO MYSELF!” – kidding myself really, but actually back then, that was my geuine thought process.
So, what now? How am I going to lose weight now? Well for two weeks I’ve been counting calories. I found I out how many calories I would need to eat to maintain my current weight (I’m not a maths genius, I most definitely used online calorie calculators), I started eating that amount of suggested calories – 2325 calories – a day, for about five days. I then reduced my calorie intake to 1800 – which is what I need to lose weight. Note, that I could “lose weight fast” by reducing my calorie intake even further, to 1395 – however, THIS IS NOT SUSTAINABLE FOR ME – I would get hungry and give up easily. So I’ve gone with the safest, most realistic calorie intake. I don’t count macros – I’m not gonna lie, I don’t want to get bogged down in counting carbs and fat etc. I really don’t want to demonise foods – I clearly have a big enough issue with food at the moment, I don’t want to scare myself into overeating out of misery already! So this is what I’m doing to start my weightloss journey again. Calorie counting. And I’ve got to say, it’s going well. I don’t know if I’ve lost weight yet doing this as I’m going to weigh myself once a month at the end of each month. SO this year I’ll be doing 12 weigh-ins in total. This is a journey that really needs to turn into a lifestyle and weighing obsessively every day or every week is not healthy – not for me anyway.
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, where am I currently at? Well I currently weigh:
18 stone 3lbs (255lbs/115.6kg) and here is my body at the moment – granted, I’m posing – it’s showing just how fucking annoyed I am at having gained all this weight again haha. Now, lots of body positive people will be saying “why are you worried about losing weight? Love your body as it is” – and while I agree with that sentiment, I just don’t feel comfortable being this size knowing I can’t bounce on the trampoline with my son because of my weight. I can’t sit here content when my son cries at me because he’s worried I’m going to die before he’s 12 years old. So, I guess I’m trying to find a balance of learning to love my body, but also lose weight and get fit and healthy.
fatflirtyandfit 